Dad Jokes

2020-06-28 07:56:05 I just farted on my wallet....
Now i have some gas money.

Submitted by eddie7325

@DadJokesCompilation Aprire / Come

2020-06-28 07:56:04 Did you hear about the abortionist who was arrested?
He was charged due to MANSLAUGHTER!

Submitted by EddieVicRattlehead

@DadJokesCompilation Aprire / Come

2020-06-28 07:56:03 Why couldn't the blind man see his friends?
Because he was married and had three children

Submitted by Spencjb24

@DadJokesCompilation Aprire / Come

2020-06-28 07:56:01 How do you turn a chicken into a pig?
Put it in the oven, then it's bacon…

Submitted by Godfather_187_

@DadJokesCompilation Aprire / Come

2020-06-28 07:26:02 Perfect
When I was in grade school, I heard the word penis on the playground. I asked my father what it was, and he said, "I guess you're old enough, so I'll just show you". So he takes it out, and says, "You see that, that's a penis, and a perfect penis at that". So the next day I am on the playground at school talking about penises, when my classmate Sally asked me what a penis is. I said,"I guess you're old enough to know", so I pulled it out. I said,"You see that Sally, that's a penis, and if it were only three inches shorter, it would be a perfect penis".

Submitted by Jack-Brower

@DadJokesCompilation Aprire / Come

2020-06-28 06:56:22 My wife asked why I didn't bring a facemask to the grocery store.
I told her I didn't think Covid.

Submitted by Agentchef

@DadJokesCompilation Aprire / Come

2020-06-28 06:56:21 I stole a lawyer’s underwear right before court.
There’s no way he’ll succeed without his legal briefs.

Submitted by IMadeItGuys

@DadJokesCompilation Aprire / Come

2020-06-28 06:26:25 How many times did the Spanish teacher have to tell her class how to say eleven?
Once

Submitted by larryb78

@DadJokesCompilation Aprire / Come

2020-06-28 06:26:24 Insomnia
My doctor recently asked me if I thought I suffered from insomnia or not.It was a tough decision, so I decided to sleep on it.

Submitted by r-eap

@DadJokesCompilation Aprire / Come

2020-06-28 06:26:23 What do you call an acid with an attitude?
Amino acid

Submitted by TaterRae94

@DadJokesCompilation Aprire / Come